Your group writes two to three paragraphs on the theme of freedom in Gathering Blue. You should briefly quote at least two parts of the novel that have to do with freedom(does not have to be spoken or thought dialogue) and include the page(s) on which you find these examples. Do answer the questions on the handout, but let them be a guide as your group works together to write these paragraphs. NO FIRST PERSON HERE - You are the EXPERT! See FDIE for more on "first person."
Here I see some good writing by the "Freedom" group:
P1
strong P about freedom in general (but not strong intro. sentence) followed by lack of freedom due to Council of Guardians, nice tying to text with quotes=
P2
weaker P about Annabella's death, not much support and clear relationship established to lack of freedom (which is a "no duh" but must be spelled out anyway)=
Really P1 has some fine writing, ladies. I do realize that we took time in learning how to use wikis, how to save, how to edit, etc. Since we will use wikis not only in this class but also in other classes (and in life), I think it is a useful skill. I appreciate the work all of you put into this. As I will tell the class - I am asking that most groups focus on three revision ideas. However, your revision has to do with each paragraph, so you only have two revision ideas.
*Revision 1
New intro sentence for P1 and an underlined topic sentence thatwill show you have clearly established the one idea that is key in this paragraph. It will help if you avoid "thing" and "big." No other ideas will be in this P (may need to end up with 3 Ps), only supporting information and detail.=
*Revision 2
P2 is weak and needs to have the underlined topic described abovePLUS more supporting detail and explicit tying for Annabella's death to freedom.=
See Bottom!
Ladies, since you did not underline the sentences required for revision, it makes it really difficult for me to effectively evaluate your work. I can see that you've added sentences by looking at your history . . . and, indeed, the intro sentence for P1 is much improved.
Freedom is a powerful concept that determines the lives of all peole and can give variety to any life. It is a choice of creativity and self expression. However, the amount of freedom in different cultures and groups can vary greatly. Many Africans were kidnapped and brought across the Atlantic to a new world and new rules. They were not allowed any choice in what to do, what to say, and even what to think. Slaves had no freedom, and they were very unhappy. People don’t like having their freedom taken away, unless they don’t really know what freedom is. The people in Kira’s village have never had the priviledge of choice, and do not fellunhappy when they are told how to live their lives. Good work here.
When freedom is taken away from a person, their life is taken, too; they are not the same person anymore. The people in Kira’s village, are unknowingly controlled by the Council of Guardians and have lived their whole life in the village. When the Council of Guardians finds a child with an unusual talent or creativity, they kill their parents and take control of them. "Her mother's death: a sudden violent, isolated illness. Such things were rare. Usually illness struck the village and many were taken. Perhaps her mother had been poisoned? But why? Because they wanted Kira. Why? So that they could capture her gift: her skill with the threads. And Thomas? His parents too? And Jo's? Why? So that all their gifts would be captive." (pg.209-210) The children captured and controlled by the Council have even less freedom now because Jamison tells Kira what to sew, Thomas what to carve, and Jo what to sing."They were the artists who could create the future." (pg.211, 212) The work is miserable because the children have no way to express their feelings in their work. Jo had whimpered, "They be stuffing new things into me"(pg.154) Also nicely written here.
Sometimes, freedom (or lack of freedom) hurts and might even cause deaths. Kira went to Anabella’s cottage every day to learn the art of the dyes. Annabella was killed because she began to tell Kira the truth about the community and the so called "beasts" that keep people from wandering into the woods or leaving the village. "There be no beasts, she said it just that way, several times." (pg.110,128) Kira told Jameson what Anabella had said and he had her killed immediatly. She was killed just because she told the truth; just because she didn’t want Kira to have to live without freedom; just because she did what needed to be done. Being killed for simply knowing the truth is having every bit of your freedom taken away. Everyone has a right to life. Kira does not realize how many secrets are being kept from her and the community until she watches the Singer walk across the stage during The Gathering. "Between his thick ankle cuffs, dragging heavily as he made his way slowly from the stage, was a chain."(pg. 211)"Suddenly Kira knew that although her door was unlocked, she was not really free. Her life was limited to these things and this work." (pg.153) Freedom is a bigpart of Gathering Blue, although it is never there.-Caroline, Mattie, and Micah
Grade without revisions above: 40/50
POSSIBLE grade with those revisions by end of class on Tuesday, Sept. 29: 50/50; 46/50 revision grade
Group - Freedom
Novel - Gathering Blue
Your group writes two to three paragraphs on the theme of freedom in Gathering Blue. You should briefly quote at least two parts of the novel that have to do with freedom(does not have to be spoken or thought dialogue) and include the page(s) on which you find these examples. Do answer the questions on the handout, but let them be a guide as your group works together to write these paragraphs. NO FIRST PERSON HERE - You are the EXPERT! See FDIE for more on "first person."
Here I see some good writing by the "Freedom" group:
P1
strong P about freedom in general (but not strong intro. sentence) followed by lack of freedom due to Council of Guardians, nice tying to text with quotes=P2
weaker P about Annabella's death, not much support and clear relationship established to lack of freedom (which is a "no duh" but must be spelled out anyway)=Really P1 has some fine writing, ladies. I do realize that we took time in learning how to use wikis, how to save, how to edit, etc. Since we will use wikis not only in this class but also in other classes (and in life), I think it is a useful skill. I appreciate the work all of you put into this. As I will tell the class - I am asking that most groups focus on three revision ideas. However, your revision has to do with each paragraph, so you only have two revision ideas.
*Revision 1
New intro sentence for P1 and an underlined topic sentence that will show you have clearly established the one idea that is key in this paragraph. It will help if you avoid "thing" and "big." No other ideas will be in this P (may need to end up with 3 Ps), only supporting information and detail.=*Revision 2
P2 is weak and needs to have the underlined topic described above PLUS more supporting detail and explicit tying for Annabella's death to freedom.=See Bottom!
Ladies, since you did not underline the sentences required for revision, it makes it really difficult for me to effectively evaluate your work. I can see that you've added sentences by looking at your history . . . and, indeed, the intro sentence for P1 is much improved.
Freedom is a powerful concept that determines the lives of all peole and can give variety to any life. It is a choice of creativity and self expression. However, the amount of freedom in different cultures and groups can vary greatly. Many Africans were kidnapped and brought across the Atlantic to a new world and new rules. They were not allowed any choice in what to do, what to say, and even what to think. Slaves had no freedom, and they were very unhappy. People don’t like having their freedom taken away, unless they don’t really know what freedom is. The people in Kira’s village have never had the priviledge of choice, and do not fell unhappy when they are told how to live their lives. Good work here.
When freedom is taken away from a person, their life is taken, too; they are not the same person anymore. The people in Kira’s village, are unknowingly controlled by the Council of Guardians and have lived their whole life in the village. When the Council of Guardians finds a child with an unusual talent or creativity, they kill their parents and take control of them. "Her mother's death: a sudden violent, isolated illness. Such things were rare. Usually illness struck the village and many were taken. Perhaps her mother had been poisoned? But why? Because they wanted Kira. Why? So that they could capture her gift: her skill with the threads. And Thomas? His parents too? And Jo's? Why? So that all their gifts would be captive." (pg.209-210) The children captured and controlled by the Council have even less freedom now because Jamison tells Kira what to sew, Thomas what to carve, and Jo what to sing."They were the artists who could create the future." (pg.211, 212) The work is miserable because the children have no way to express their feelings in their work. Jo had whimpered, "They be stuffing new things into me"(pg.154) Also nicely written here.
Sometimes, freedom (or lack of freedom) hurts and might even cause deaths. Kira went to Anabella’s cottage every day to learn the art of the dyes. Annabella was killed because she began to tell Kira the truth about the community and the so called "beasts" that keep people from wandering into the woods or leaving the village. "There be no beasts, she said it just that way, several times." (pg.110,128) Kira told Jameson what Anabella had said and he had her killed immediatly. She was killed just because she told the truth; just because she didn’t want Kira to have to live without freedom; just because she did what needed to be done. Being killed for simply knowing the truth is having every bit of your freedom taken away. Everyone has a right to life. Kira does not realize how many secrets are being kept from her and the community until she watches the Singer walk across the stage during The Gathering. "Between his thick ankle cuffs, dragging heavily as he made his way slowly from the stage, was a chain."(pg. 211)"Suddenly Kira knew that although her door was unlocked, she was not really free. Her life was limited to these things and this work." (pg.153) Freedom is a big part of Gathering Blue, although it is never there.-Caroline, Mattie, and Micah
Grade without revisions above: 40/50
POSSIBLE grade with those revisions by end of class on Tuesday, Sept. 29: 50/50; 46/50 revision grade